Pucon Chile with Volcanoes

Pucon has a volcano which you dont know about until it is sunny or a tour guide tries to sell you a trip. Seemed like a good idea. Only 2850m high (I was higher up on a bike in Bolivia), bit of snow, bit of smoke. Safe excitement with some bragging rights right? What they didnt mention was that it would be mountaineering with ice picks, crampons, and sub zero winds that tried to blow you off the edge. Plus when you get to the top you are choked by the toxic fumes and then have to pick your way down the mountain in freezing fog. The guides thought that this would be most fun if you slid into abyss and used your ice pick to slow you down. Very scary to start with, especially when you couldn´t hear or see anyone below you. Less scary when I started to get my arse stuck in the channel and had to bunny hop down until some fatties crashed into me and helped me down. Looked like we were doing the row boat song with back packs and pick ices.

Good things
Crampons, ice picks, looking like Sir Edmund Hillary with Oakleys
Hats - wooly, hood from fleece, hood from anorak, helmet. Need all of them
Sliding down the Volcano
Cosy wooden cabin, with log fires, hammocks and waggy tail dog
Deep hot springs where you can eat chocolate and drink beer with a bus load of Germans under the stars (Now friends)
Pretty lake district scenery with mountains, cows, grass streams etc
Sticky toffee pudding and ice cream

Bad things
Volcano climbing is like skiing but without skis and only half the lifts working
Freezing cold, I was only given half the stuff of everyone else - mentioned to the guides in very basic but understandable Spanish.!You cant see anything when you get there
It smells
It´s toxic
Blows up occasionally
Can´t turn head while wearing so many hats
Drinking water freezes in camel pack
Ham and cheese sandwich froze
Warmed up sandwich under my arm on the way down
Crunched water after crunching sandwich
Girls cheered up after 2 or 3 hours
Walked with Alan who is always cheerful even when exhibiting his own volcanic properties
Volcano alarm woke us at 2am. We think it was a test..?
Took champage up as a special surprise for the ladies but due to massive sense of humour failure of both half way up we decided to open it at the bottom. Cups were a sorry state but the bubbly was chilled. Points for the lads!